Fall ‘24/Winter ‘25
The December Dilemma for Parents & Teachers
The proximity of Hanukkah and Christmas, especially this year since both holidays fall on the same night, causes many American Jewish adults to struggle about what to do with the holiday of Christmas. For interfaith families, this time of the year causes the most confusion. Our teachers are aware of which children in their classes come from interfaith or non-Jewish families, and how they handle the holidays at home. Do they celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanza at home? Did one parent convert, but they still celebrate Christmas at Grandma’s? The teachers work to understand how the holidays are approached at home so they can do their best to support each child in their classrooms. And while our major goal of Jewish early childhood education here at Temple Beth El Preschool is to instill Jewish identity and to teach Jewish holidays and values, we also must be careful to validate every child. Rather than the teacher telling a child, “We don’t talk about Christmas here,” it is crucial to acknowledge the whole authenticity of the child. Example: Jonah: “My grandparents have a Christmas tree!” Teacher: “Jonah’s grandma and grandpa are Christian. Jonah, tell us about the Christmas tree at their house.”
For the teachers in our Jewish school, it is important to reinforce the joys of being Jewish, of celebrating Hanukkah, Shabbat, and all the other Jewish holidays. But just as children learn that every birthday party does not celebrate their own birthday, children can learn to respect Christmas and Kwanza as someone else’s holiday, while celebrating in all the joys that embrace being Jewish. In our classrooms, the teachers allow the children to talk about their Christmas and Kwanza observations, while always framing the discussion in the context of “someone else’s party.”
Many Interfaith parents struggle at this time of the year, worrying when their child expresses interest in participating in other rituals. A useful strategy for parents may be to celebrate each holiday separately, with different decorations, music, meals, and times. For example, you could have a Christmas breakfast and a Hanukkah dinner. In doing this, you celebrate each holiday but keep the traditions separate from one another at different times. You could put up both Hanukkah and Christmas decorations, light the menorah and the Christmas tree, read the stories of each holiday’s origins, and exchange gifts for both holidays. The more children learn about other traditions and beliefs, the better our world will become. Chag Sameach!!